Marriage Counseling After Infidelity: Part 3
Cutting Ties With The “Other Man” Or “Other Woman”
Of course, the only way to completely get closure after infidelity is for the cheating spouse to end his or her relationship with the other partner(s). This may be difficult, however, if the person works in the same building, frequents the same restaurants, or lives on the same street. Work with your marriage counselor to devise a plan for how to best cut ties with the other person.
Keep in mind that the other person will need closure as well. For instance, the other person may be unaware that there was a marriage going on in tangent to the relationship. If so, he or she deserves to be notified of the situation for his or her own closure. If the person was aware of the marriage, there still needs to be a formal request to discontinue communication. This may be in the form of a phone call, a letter, an email, or anything else along those lines, but it should come from the spouse that was in the extra-marital relationship. Your counselor can work with you on how to present this properly.
The closure process will not only help the non-cheating spouse feel better about the situation, but it will also remove the temptation for the adulterer to cheat again in the future. If the cheating occurred online, delete all accounts associated with the other person or find ways to block him or her from further communication.
Completing Family Counseling For The Children
If you have children, chances are they have also been affected by everything that has been going on. It may be wise to complete family counseling in addition to your marriage counseling so your kids can adjust to the changes in your relationship. Even if your children do not know exactly what has happened, they can sense tension and disconnection in your relationship. Working together as a family in counseling will show your children that it will get better and that they will no longer have to worry about that tension in their lives.
Family counseling also gives your kids a chance to express themselves in a neutral setting. Things they may not feel comfortable discussing with you in person could quickly come out with a counselor present. You can see just how much of an impact the infidelity has had on your children, and then you can join forces to reestablish your family bonds once again.
