Addictive relationships are more common than most people realize, and they can be detrimental to both parties involved. What may come across as dedicated clinginess may actually be a sign of a much more serious problem. If you have already determined that you are in an addictive relationship, you may be lost in how to get out of it – if you should get out of it at all. Here are some tips to help you out.
Get Out Or Fight Through It?
As with any addiction, you need to determine if you want to get rid of the bad habit for good or turn it into something else. Is there enough connection at the core of your relationship to stay together? Can you rekindle the feelings you had before the addiction took over? Ideally, it would be best to work with a couple’s therapist to help you see what you can do to improve you current situation. On your own though, you need to talk to your partner about spending more time apart from one another in a healthy way. If your partner resists, he or she may not quite be ready to get past the addiction.
Cold Turkey Vs. Slow Removal
Every person reacts differently when they fight their addictions. Some people do well by simply removing themselves from the addiction entirely. Others need to slowly walk away to avoid major breakdowns. How you approach this is entirely up to you. If you like the “cold turkey” method, make plans to move out or cease communicating with the other person as quickly as possible. Make sure you have everything in order beforehand so you can limit your contact with your partner moving forward.
If you would prefer to take things slowly, you may start by sleeping in another room or changing your work schedule so the two of you are not home at the same time. Your partner will likely get suspicious of your overall plans, so you will need to be prepared to talk about a breakup when the time comes.
Life After The Breakup
Removing yourself from your addictive relationship will probably feel relieving, like a huge weight has been lifted off your shoulder. However, this feeling will soon fade and will be replaced with regret, temptation, and reconsideration. During those times of struggle, remind yourself why you got out of the relationship in the first place. Find new ways to fill your time that will not have you crossing paths with your ex. Work with a counselor to sort out your emotions, and you will soon find a healthy, happy relationship waiting for you.