Why You Shouldn’t Stay Married For The Kids
A lot of married couples avoid divorce purely because they have children together. While I am more than happy to promote the idea of couples staying together, the fact is that some people work best when they go their separate ways. If you are purely sticking with your marriage for your children’s sake, you may actually be doing more harm than good. Here is a look at why you shouldn’t stay married for the kids.
Fighting Is Worse Than Separation
In most cases, children suffer more from being exposed to constant fighting than they do from separation. Yes, it would be difficult for your children to accept the two of you being apart, but it is even more difficult for them to hear you yelling at each other every night. Perhaps you think you’ve got the act down enough that your children don’t notice your fights. Whether you realize it or not, they know something is wrong. Kids are incredibly inquisitive, and they can often make split-second judgments long before an adult’s rational mind would be able to. Simply put – you’re not fooling anyone.
Your Aggression May Get Passed Onto Your Children
Without realizing it, you may pass the detest you feel for your spouse onto your children. This could happen through a sudden outburst over a minor issue, or it could come off in the way you push your kids aside after a fight. Whatever the case may be, your children are going to suffer the subtle wrath of your fallen marriage Is that something you want to put them through?
You Put Your Children In The Middle, Even When You Don’t Mean To
No matter how much you try to avoid it, you will eventually ask your children to pick sides in a fight. This is especially true for parents with teens because they tend to vent to their teenagers as a way to cope with the fights. You want support and you can’t find any other way to get it. Your children will thus become the middlemen you never wanted them to be.
Get Counseling Or Get Out
As hard as it is to accept this idea, you need to acknowledge your two choices: Get out of the relationship or get enough counseling to rebuild it. If your marriage is salvageable, then by all means work toward making it better. If it is too broken to repair, separate now so you can let your kids transition as early as possible. Think about the real reason you’re still married and see if it’s actually helping the way you thought it would. There may be a better road for you up ahead.
