Codependents lose their ability to control their own lives. This may happen as a result of the person they are with, or it may be due to drug and alcohol addiction. Some codependents keep themselves busy with work, shopping, and other hobbies to feel like they are in control again. Many of them will lash out when confronted about their addictions fearing that they will lose even more control.
Codependents focus on situations more closely than others. If they manage to upset someone else, they may go to extreme measures to make up for this. They fear making mistakes, and they often spend hours in the day just thinking about a situation from the past. This is one of the hardest symptoms of codependency to get past.
Poor Communication Skills
If you suffer from codependency, you might have trouble expressing your feelings properly. For instance, you might bite your tongue if you do not like something because you don’t want to upset the person you are with. You might also feel the need to lie because you think you are protecting someone else. All of this ties into the idea of losing yourself and your personal boundaries. You don’t know what the “real world” is like anymore.
Codependency may be accompanied by depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, fear of abandonment, and much more. It creates an emotional roller coaster that can be tough to get off. You might get to the point where you feel numb to life because of your codependency. You might also feel like every comment someone makes about you is a 10 inch dagger penetrating your heart. If you can conquer the source of your problem, you will feel much better in the end.
Intimacy in a relationship does not always have to refer to sex. It has to do with letting people get close to you on an emotional level. You may close your mind and body off to your partner if you are codependent. This can worsen the painful emotions mentioned above because your partner will lash out about how disconnected you have become. It’s a bad spiral that can be reversed with proper treatment.
As with any personality disorder or addiction, people who suffer from codependency are usually in denial about their situations. In fact, they will go as far as to think that other relationships around them “aren’t normal.” They deny their own feelings and needs in an attempt to please others, but then they lose sight of the problem at hand. That is why so many people in this world live with codependency every day. They don’t think they need help, so they never get it.
Consider the symptoms of codependency above and see if any of them sound like you. If so, it may be time to talk to someone about your problems and ways you can rise above them.