Is it love or addiction? Is your dependency on your partner a sign that you are in a dangerous downward spiral with your relationship? Is it possible to love someone “too much?” These are the kinds of questions that surround addictive relationships. While you might think that you are head over heels for someone else, the truth is that you may actually be addicted to that person or some version of that person you have made up in your head. As with any addiction, this could lead to difficulties later on in life.
Dangers Of Addictive Relationships
What could be harmful about being addicted to your partner? At the surface, nothing. You simply cling onto him more than most people would, and you may consider that the “ultimate commitment.” The problem with this though is the fact that you are only using the person as a way to get a “fix.” He may satisfy your addiction at first, but eventually you will find yourself wanting more. You may even get angry and hostile because you feel like your partner is no longer holding up his end of the relationship. In reality, you are the one expecting too much out of it.
Signs Of Addictive Relationships
Not all addictive relationships look the same, much like any other addiction. Nevertheless, they do carry some similarities among them:
- Great start followed by quick destruction. Rather than going from puppy love to comfort and understanding, you build a heated battle of expectations, which neither person can live up to.
- You lose yourself in the relationship. While there is no harm in thinking of yourself as part of “us,” you still need to maintain your own identity and beliefs. If the words coming out of your mouth belong to someone else, you may be addicted.
- You isolate yourself within the relationship. Friends and family members take a back seat to your partner, to the point that you eventually push everyone else away.
- You become dependent on the other person every second of the day. This may spark jealousy, paranoia, insecurity, and a medley of other emotions that will ultimately drive your partner (and yourself) insane.
Admitting To The Addiction
The only way to seek relief from an addictive relationship is to admit that you are in one. If you feel that this relationship is the only thing you have left in life, consider how much “love” is actually present. It may be hard to see this as an addiction when you’ve been heavily committed to it for years, but once you finally own up to the problem, you can work with a counselor to come up with a solution.